Sunday, August 10, 2008

Full Disclosure

In the interests of full disclosure, here's a shout out to Jessica T., I hope to see a lot more of you around Jessica!
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If you understand this raffle you can ignore this entire section, but for those of you who don't live in Richland, MO or don't talk to me on a daily basis here's the DL:
There is a donation raffle going on for a Chevy truck to be given away in early December. A donation to the My Brother Fund in the amount of $10 will give one a chance to receive said truck from the dealership. This money is being used for remodeling expenses, buying a wheelchair that will actually fit in the trunk of a car... I had a big mess trying to take him somewhere the other day... and stuff like that. Maybe even for a trip to Germany for some stem cell treatment someday. Bub has become really interested in stem cell research as of late, it's really something that could help him in the future.

Anyway, ticket sales are only going so-so right now, but it's starting to pick up. Anyone who is interested can donate in town or can contact me or send me anything they wish. I don't really like to be involved in the goings on of this thing, but it's the least I can do to make sure people know about it and how to get tickets if they desire.
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In other updates, Robbie seems to be doing okay in the handicap accessible apartment with Mandy for now. He goes back to rehab for the month of September. We still don't think that the apartment is going to be a long term solution, and are working on plans for a house. My dad put a bid in on a house in Crocker, and we will know on Thursday whether or not we are getting it.

I took Rob and Mandy to Walmart the other day. After the third stop Mandy and I figured out how to get the wheelchair into the trunk and actually close the trunk. It wasn't that much of a problem until we tried to get it out.... which was virtually impossible. It was a good learning experience though, Robbie needs a large vehicle. Also it was hard b/c my doors don't open wide enough to allow him to get in and out of the vehicle on his own, so someone has to life him.... and that boy is heavy! I mean he looks like a twig, but even a twig at his height weighs over 150 lbs and am not a bodybuilder!
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I'm really excited to move.
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I had a good talk with BJ today. Really made me feel better about a lot of things and cleared away some random tension between us. Things are getting so much better with a lot of friends that I've been out of touch with for a while. I really like it.
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I sold my BarBri books on eBay, so now I can afford my cell phone bill. The cell phones will remain on another month:-)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Starting to Get Over my Funk.... I think

Goals:
1. Say things that I want to say, no matter how uncomfortable they are.
2. Move as soon as possible.
3. Visit Clo before I move.
4. Get a temp job
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In other news, I saw Robbie today. He seems to be doing well. They are moving into their apartment in the next few days.

My dad is still really upset about his dog dying. He doesn't act like he wants to live. It's really upsetting to everyone, but I hope he can get out of this funk soon. This is part of the reason I'm not an animal person I think.

I wonder what things would be like if i had made different choices, like if i took a different bar besides the California one....

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Not Feeling So Good Today

Sometimes this feels like a conversation between me and Andy, where i purposefully tell him about everyone's opinions but mine, just for added suspense. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. But i do know for a fact that there are people besides Andy who read this. (YAY! for me)!
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Updates:
Robbie - Robbie is no longer hospitalized. He is staying at his girlfriend Mandy's parent's house temporarily. He is supposed to be moving into his apartment this week. He finally called me today. I love that boy so much, but he really makes me upset sometimes. Earlier tonight I really just wanted to move as far away as possible from all of this and hopefully i wouldn't have to let it hurt me anymore. Robbie's phone call helped though.

In a random bout of self-analyzation, I think that I have a pattern of males in my life. They tend to be disappointed in some way or another. I love them to death. And no matter what I want to do i can't get away from them. Even with friends or quasi-friends, there are times where it would be better for me to just cut off relationships with a couple of people, and i just can't. I just keep coming back and letting them disappoint me over and over again.

And the person that disappoints me the most is the one I love the most - my dad. Great.

I tend to have an easier time expressing myself to females. Maybe it's a pattern I've learned though yelling, blaming, and generally being a jerkface to my Mom.....

Interesting thoughts, back to Robbie. The donation raffle is going well I guess. It's getting a little to close for comfort to time to pay for the truck and things, so I don't know. I really stay out of it for the most part, as it also makes me uncomfortable.

But if anyone is interested in buying a raffle ticket, the easiest thing to do is mail me some form of money ($10/each) at my house 21180 Hwy 7 South, Richland, MO 65556, and I'll send you the receipt back so you for your personal edification.
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Moving: I'm still tentatively planning on moving after I attend the marvelous wedding of Ms. Amy Coskey on September 6. I'm trying to find a place to live right now. I am also trying to find a temporary job in Missouri so that I can pay my bills until I am able to move and find a job. I really want to move, but honestly, Robbie's not the only thing keeping me here.... and i think there's a chance i could regret this move for the rest of my life.

I've been listening to Secondhand Serenade's "Fall For You" on repeat all night. I think i'm a freak or something. But read the lyrics. They just seem to feel right tonight.

Friday, August 1, 2008

One Bar Exam Down: ?? More to Go

Apparently there is considerable drama surrounding the earthquake's effect on the bar exam.

My experience: Me - flipping out, Moderator - gets up to the microphone while it's still going on and says, "Stay calm, and keep working on your exam!" Personally, i wanted to jump under the table, and i don't think it was fair of the moderator to subject me that kind of danger when there easily could have been more damage than just the one ceiling tile that fell in the room I was in.

Room next door to mine: Everyone screamed, and jumped under the table (some of them with their laptops so they could continue working), and they stayed there for a couple of minutes before returning to their exam. They were granted 5 extra minutes to work on their exam.

Other people closer to the epicenter: It seems as though no one else was granted extra time and they are very pissed about it. I read all this stuff online about people filing formal complaints with the State Bar and all sorts of crap because they don't think it's fair that some people got extra time.

They should just get over themselves and stop worrying about it. Seriously. It's not that big of a deal, I finished five minutes early on everything. An extra five minutes SHOULD NOT be the difference between someone passing and failing.

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It's over! That's all i care about. I woke up in a sweat this morning, thinking I was late and that i needed to study. I hope i get over that soon. There's no reason for me to be freaking out. I'm waiting for that since of peace and release that should be coming.....