Tuesday, August 25, 2009

i want...

i want to be pretty
i want to be not fat
i want to be the center of attention
i want to not worry about money
i want to not worry about Aaron
i want to love my job
i want to love myself again
i want to not be judged
i want to love LA
i want to be the funnest person you kno
i want my life to mean something
i want to feel passionate
i want to change the world

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Curiousity Killed the Cat

For those of you who are curious ...

my name is Rachael

and my bar number is 261893

If you're skeptical, you can always run an attorney search on www.calbar.org and find me!

The End or The Beginning, A Story in Three Verses

I'm still looking for a job...
at 12:05am
Stacey's still sleeping
probably like a normal person
i'm abnormal
and baking cinnamon rolls
to negate any positive effect
that running today might have had.
i still have lots of anger
toward a particular person, or three
one, anger because i love
two, anger because you don't love
three, anger of evil
another i resent
resents me to
but pretends to fawn
and finally
my equal, my all in all
i wonder what you're thinking tonight
if you dream of me too
you think you understand me
but you don't
you think i was talking about you
but i wasn't
you think you can forget me
but you can't
i think you need to get over your romanticism
but you won't
and YOU, you better be real

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Moment of Truth

so... after all that jazz, I PASSED...
and i feel great about it, i'm super excited to actually start my life as an attorney
except that i feel a little bit guilty
as evidenced by this blog, among other things,
I didn't put in an extraordinary amount of effort to study
there are plenty of people who did study really really hard, for months, and still failed

The pass rate for the July 2008 California bar exam was 61.8%.
The discussion board I post on regarding the exam, has a lot of good advice, including, you CANNOT pass if you do not put in the required effort.

That's obviously a lie.
Maybe the people who say that are paid by BarBri and other companies that sell review courses to scare people into spending millions of dollars preparing for the bar exam. The Barbri course alone costs appoximately $3000 depending on which state you are in, if you need the ipod version b/c you can't do live classes, add another $1000. And most schools and companies encourage you to take PMBR or some other course that helps you prepare for the MBE and the MPT. Those courses are never cheaper than about $1000.

Here's what i spent...

$550 (approximately, for Barbri complete set of books from 2007 off Ebay) ****
$25 at Kinko's to print and turn my outlines into a book
$10 on random highlighters, post it's, and other stupid shit that I used mostly to convince myself that i was studying when in reality i was coloring
--------- for a total of $585-----------------

unless you want to include all the money i spent at Kohl's, Old Navy, etc, when i went shopping to distract myself from studying.... maybe if i would have taken the live barbri course, I wouldn't have had the free time to go shopping:-)

**** After the bar exam, I sold this entire lot of books on ebay, for about $525, so i only lost about $25.

I think i'm going to start updating about my job search, I forgot how much I enjoy typing random shit for me and stacey to read and laugh at.... and maybe a few other people.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Full Disclosure

In the interests of full disclosure, here's a shout out to Jessica T., I hope to see a lot more of you around Jessica!
If you understand this raffle you can ignore this entire section, but for those of you who don't live in Richland, MO or don't talk to me on a daily basis here's the DL:
There is a donation raffle going on for a Chevy truck to be given away in early December. A donation to the My Brother Fund in the amount of $10 will give one a chance to receive said truck from the dealership. This money is being used for remodeling expenses, buying a wheelchair that will actually fit in the trunk of a car... I had a big mess trying to take him somewhere the other day... and stuff like that. Maybe even for a trip to Germany for some stem cell treatment someday. Bub has become really interested in stem cell research as of late, it's really something that could help him in the future.

Anyway, ticket sales are only going so-so right now, but it's starting to pick up. Anyone who is interested can donate in town or can contact me or send me anything they wish. I don't really like to be involved in the goings on of this thing, but it's the least I can do to make sure people know about it and how to get tickets if they desire.
In other updates, Robbie seems to be doing okay in the handicap accessible apartment with Mandy for now. He goes back to rehab for the month of September. We still don't think that the apartment is going to be a long term solution, and are working on plans for a house. My dad put a bid in on a house in Crocker, and we will know on Thursday whether or not we are getting it.

I took Rob and Mandy to Walmart the other day. After the third stop Mandy and I figured out how to get the wheelchair into the trunk and actually close the trunk. It wasn't that much of a problem until we tried to get it out.... which was virtually impossible. It was a good learning experience though, Robbie needs a large vehicle. Also it was hard b/c my doors don't open wide enough to allow him to get in and out of the vehicle on his own, so someone has to life him.... and that boy is heavy! I mean he looks like a twig, but even a twig at his height weighs over 150 lbs and am not a bodybuilder!
I'm really excited to move.
I had a good talk with BJ today. Really made me feel better about a lot of things and cleared away some random tension between us. Things are getting so much better with a lot of friends that I've been out of touch with for a while. I really like it.
I sold my BarBri books on eBay, so now I can afford my cell phone bill. The cell phones will remain on another month:-)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Starting to Get Over my Funk.... I think

1. Say things that I want to say, no matter how uncomfortable they are.
2. Move as soon as possible.
3. Visit Clo before I move.
4. Get a temp job
In other news, I saw Robbie today. He seems to be doing well. They are moving into their apartment in the next few days.

My dad is still really upset about his dog dying. He doesn't act like he wants to live. It's really upsetting to everyone, but I hope he can get out of this funk soon. This is part of the reason I'm not an animal person I think.

I wonder what things would be like if i had made different choices, like if i took a different bar besides the California one....